Just one of those days

This is where Asher has been spending a lot of his time lately... behind bars. In this particular instance, he had just dumped out an entire salt shaker, that had just been filled, all over the kitchen table, while standing on the kitchen table (which he knows he is not supposed to do). 

Yup, that's right, today is "one of those days". Asher has not been a very good boy lately. In fact, he has been quite the opposite. For a while there, he was being such a little angel and was so fun and sweet, but now I think the reality has set in, that there is a new baby in town, and he is here to stay. At first Asher loved Sayer. He got excited whenever he saw him, tried to "help" him when he cried, and all that cute stuff. He will still do all those things when he is in a good mood, but if he's not, poor Sayer takes a beating. Apparently, when I say "do not hit your brother", Asher translates that to mean: "oh, you want me to do that again... with a smile on my face? Ok!" Aaaaagghhh!!!! With this, I have come to the realization that Asher is attention starved (and it was Mrs. Dub who helped me to see that, thanks!). I was starting to wonder what it is that makes having 2 kids harder, and then BAM, the answer hits me square in the face. Attention. Dividing my time between the two so that they both feel loved and appreciated and heard. Poor Asher. It makes me very grateful that we didn't get rid of "bee-dee" yet, as I now understand why Asher is more attached to it than ever. It makes me so sad to think that Asher feels neglected. In fact, it pretty much breaks my heart. But then on the other hand, I feel like Asher is making it very difficult to give him positive attention, when he is screaming or hitting or acting like a crazy child.  The fact that Asher doesn't really talk yet, isn't helping matters either.  How am I supposed to know what "eh-eh" and a high pitched "aagh-aagh" mean?!  Sigh. And I thought today was going to be a good day. I even got up early and read my scriptures first thing, and fed Asher a real breakfast, and showered! Oh well, such is life. Oh, and don't worry that it's 4:30, and I just put Asher down for a nap, which is normally against my religion, but hey, you gotta do what you can to survive the day right? Although, this will only make my day from hell longer... Whatever.  

Motherhood is hard.  It's supposed to be hard.  It is the process that was designed to help us become the people that we need, and want to become.  

This is the lesson that Heavenly Father is driving in to my brain this month!

**  I am pleased to say that after Asher's brief nap, he had a fabulous night.  We shared chicken dinos and corn, with everything dipped in ranch of course!  Then we played and played til Asher dropped.  I do love that kid, tantrums and all.  He really is a sweetheart, and I can't get enough of his hugs and kisses!

Perfect swaddlers...

Just look at that tight swaddle. Doesn't he look so cozy and peaceful? It's because he IS!!

I'm a fan of swaddling. Duh, right?! Since it is such an integral part of my children's sleeping habits, I decided to invest in the "best swaddling blankets ever". Of course I didn't know they were the best until I purchased them and used them, but I had my suspicions that they would be great before hand. Anyway... just thought that I would share my great find. (Which I actually did not find, Tangled and True did, so thanks!)

Aden and Anais Swaddling blankets. Muslin material that doesn't slide around. Large and square, ideal size and shape for swaddling. Thin so the baby won't get sweaty. Soft and stretchy. Cute colors and patterns. Perfect!!

He's my brother

So I finally spent some time today looking at baby pictures of Asher and Sayer. I have come to the conclusion that they look very different from each other, they each definitely have their own distinct look. I am not usually very good at saying what features go to what family, but I'll do my best. Asher is more Olson. That's what everybody says when they see him, that he looks just like his daddy. He has the Olson eyes, more almond shaped, and the Olson cheeks. I think that Sayer is more Busath. His eyes are bigger and rounder, and I think that he has my dad's pointy chin. Whenever I look at Sayer, I see my baby pictures in my head. I do think that Asher and Sayer both have the same nose, and they do have a similar profile. When Asher's eyes are open big in his baby pictures, I think they look more alike. They will probably look more and more alike as Sayer gets older. But really, what do I know?!

I will let you decide though, what do you all think? (Asher is on the left, Sayer on the right)

Sayer's Blessing

Our little family.  Asher was having a VERY rough day!

The other reason my whole family was in town was for Sayer's blessing. Ben and Whit were already coming to town, so we thought it would work out nice to do it then. Nate's parents were able to come down too, which was so nice of them. It's so nice to have so much family around for occasions like this.  I just realized that I didn't get pictures of anyone else that was there, besides my family.  Lame.  Nate's brother Andy came with his family, his brother Mackay and his girlfriend Natania, all of my sisters, my Aunt Bobby and Uncle Gordon, cousin Stephanie and her 3 cute kids, cousin Karie and her husband Eric, cousin Aaron and his wife Audrey, Aunt LJ, and Aunt Karen.  We had a luncheon at my house afterwards, with nummy food.  It was a very full house, but so fun to visit with everyone.  Thanks everyone for coming!

 Sisters...

Ashley, Alexis, Whitney, Hailey, Me, Jillian

Dad, Mom
Ashley, Alexis, Whitney, Hailey, Me, Jillian

Nate gave Sayer a beautiful blessing. The part that stuck out the most to Nate was that he would be a peacemaker in our family. I really can tell that he has such a sweet disposition, even though he is sad a lot these days. It's like he is trying so hard to be happy, but his little tummy gets in the way. I know it will pass, and I can't wait to see his little personality come out. Sayer was so good during the blessing. Nate said he was asleep the whole time until the end when he held him up.

I love Sayer's eyes, they look so cute in this picture

Whit and Sayer

Sad baby Sayer

More sad Sayer. He still looks so sweet and so cute!  Unfortunately, we didn't get any nice pictures of him not crying.  Oh well.

My mom made his blessing outfit, and it turned out SO cute. It looks like kind of a raw silk material. I loved it, and of course, Sayer looked so precious.

"Asher" in the box

Such a silly little kid!

Marathon and more...

Asher, Kadin and Whit

My sister Whit and her husband Ben ran the SLC marathon this weekend. Whit and the boys came into to town a few days early to hang out with us. It actually ended up being quite the busy week, so I felt like I didn't get to visit with my sis too much, but that's ok. It was also hard when we did have down time, as that was usually taken up with feeding Sayer, and talking over a crying baby (as that is what feeding time consists of these days) is not the easiest thing. Whit was so great to take over though, and soothe the poor little guy, when I needed a break.

Jill and Joelie

Ben and Whit did an awesome job in the marathon. It was Ben's first and he said is was "awesome"!. Congrats Ben and Whit for finishing with an awesome time!

Lexi, Asher, Mom and Dad at the Gateway, where the marathon ended

Nate, Hailey, Lexi

Kadi (Ben's sister), Doug (Ben's bro), Jackie (Doug's wife), Whit and Kadin

Mom, Dad, Me (with my new doo, thanks Ash!!)

Asher asleep in the stroller

Sweet baby Sayer

After they finished, we went to lunch at CPK, which was delish. It was a miracle to have both of our children asleep at a busy restaurant. That is really unheard of for Asher, especially when there is food involved. We later found out that he was sick, which is why he was so abnormally tired and sad.

Grandpa was so nice to sit and read to Asher when he wasn't feeling well. It has been so fun to see my dad with mine and Whit's boys, he is such a good grandpa, very doting. He just thinks his grandsons are so cute.

Just another cute picture of Sayer

Conference Weekend

Andy snuggling with Ally and Asher

This is a little late, but I had to document our conference weekend. We spent pretty much the whole weekend going back and forth, from Provo to Sandy, where Nate's brother Andy and his wife live. We had so much fun hanging out with them, and Kacey was so gracious to host us for 3 days in a row!!

I really enjoyed conference, at least the talks that I got to hear. I loved Elder Ballard's talk, for obvious reasons, of course. We often hear talks about mothers, but I thought this was kind of a different approach than what we normally hear. It actually came on at the funniest time too. Us wives were giving our husbands a hard time about the way they help out with the kids. Don't get me wrong, they all do a great job and are so helpful, but sometimes they don't do it exactly the way we would like them to, or in the timely manner that we would like them to. Just as we were finishing up our fun conversation, Elder Ballard gets up and starts talking about how wonderful mothers are and how husbands need to be more aware of the needs of their wives, and all that good stuff. It was perfect timing!

We forgot Asher's jammies the first night we were up there, so he got to wear some of his cousin Ally's... aren't they cute?! Purple is a good color on him!

Asher enjoying the swing set in the Olson's backyard. He could play for days at that house, and probably into all hours of the night, if we let him.

Andy, Duffy, Nate, MacKay, Bart

This picture is from the following week, fast Sunday. Duffy and Tessa came into town to visit friends and family, and Heidi was in town to see the new babe and to visit, so we all got together for a break the fast dinner, again, at Andy and Kacey's. I was up stairs feeding Sayer, and when I came down, this was what I saw, all the Olson brothers sitting together talking, I thought it was such a cool picture, and a rare occasion for them all to be together.

Bag Tag

Michal tagged me again!! (probably because she knows I would do it!) I thought this one was fun though, kind of different!

Rules:
1. show your bag
2. show all the contents of your bag (no cleaning it out first)
3. tag 5 more people

This is my diaper bag/purse of choice right now, which is a Wal-mart special! I have gotten so many compliments on this bag, not too bad for $9.99 I have about 5 different bags that I rotate between, depending on the season, my mood, and what I need it for. I get bored of things fast (as you can tell by my constant changing blog colors), so I like to have variety. Whitney just came into town with her new ju-ju-be be small bag, which I am loving, so I've been on their site looking at all their cute bags. I think I will add one of their packabe bags to my selections in the near future, and maybe even the be small someday too!!

Anyway, back to my bag. The contents currently/usually include:

diapers, two different sizes and a couple of each size, kirkland brand wipees, sippee cup with water, snacks (which usually include frosted mini wheats, saltines, graham crackers, fruit leather, chex, and other foods along those lines), burp cloth, binky for Sayer, gum for me, burt's bees, hand sanitizer, cell phone, a couple books, maybe a car or two, sometimes my camera, wallet, keys, sometimes my planner, sometimes my nursing cover depending on where I'm going, nasal aspirator (Sayer has to be cleaned out during almost every feeding, annoying!). That's pretty much it for every day stuff. Now, my bag for church is a completely different story, but we'll save that for another time.

Here are some of my other bags. The big fatty green was is the one with all the "church entertainment"!!



I now tag Emilee (we went out to dinner the other night, and I was quite impressed with some of the supplies she had in there, it would be interesting to see what else she's got in there!), Maren, Julianne, Ashley Shupe, and Lark. Have fun ladies!

...and you better do it!!! ;)

Ups and downs...

Cute little boys!

We have hit the 6 week mark, which is normally a big milestone, but since Sayer was 3 weeks early, we technically have 3 more weeks to go before things are supposed to start "settling down". We have had a rough couple weeks with this little guy. He had been spitting up, or rather throwing up quite and bit, and was being very fussy. I was starting to think that he was colicky, but I refused to believe it. So, I finally called my Dr and asked if we could get him on some acid reflux meds, and she was like "sure". What?! Really?! Awesome!! I love when they take mom's word for it, and don't have to do a bunch of tests. So we got him on the meds, and he was still fussy, but his reflux was much better. That's when I started to think colic, but then he never had those few hours of non-stop crying. I have always been able to calm him down, by (do I even need to say it?!) swaddling him. He would settle right down! So anyway, I basically think that the kid doesn't like to have bubbles in his tummy, and doesn't like having tummy aches, and he is going to let me know all about it!! But yesterday and today have actually been SO much better. I started paying attention to the way I held him when feeding him, and noticed that when I use my boppy, he ends up kind of laying on his back while eating. Well, I thought about what happens to me when I try to drink while laying on my back, and it just doesn't work. I always end up feeling really uncomfortable and having to burp. So since then, I have been feeding him in a more suitable position, and it seems to be making a difference. Since yesterday afternoon, when I started this experiment, there has been very little crying, which makes me feel so much better. Even if it's not really the reason, it makes you feel good to think that you can control the situation. But I really do think it's helping.

The other thing was that he wasn't sleeping very long at night, which was torture!! When my mother in law came into town, she was so great to take over when Sayer was crying a lot, and she was a pro at getting his burps out, and then he would calm down. So I worked really hard to be patient and always get his burps out and wait until he stopped crying, before I put him to sleep. When I did that, he slept so much better. The first couple nights, he went back to his 3 hour stretches, but the past 2 nights, he has been doing 4 and 5 hour stretches of sleeping (6 hours without eating, and 4 hours of sleep for me) which has been marvelous. I actually feel pretty good today... I even mopped the floor (which was disgusting by the way)!!

So anyway... having a new baby is definitely a challenge. It's such a guessing game, trying to figure out what it is that makes them so sad and what it is that makes them feel better, etc etc. But Sayer really is such a sweet little guy. He is so cute and precious. I live for those moments when all is happy and calm, and he just looks around and smiles, and coos and kicks.

Sayer, sleeping on his tummy! Gasp!! My father in law is now shaking his head in disapproval, and my sister is law Lizza (his daughter) his giving me imaginary high fives (her last baby was a tummy sleeper). Sayer doesn't normally sleep on his tummy, but sometimes after I feed him, he'll fall asleep on my shoulder, and I'll lay him on his tummy. It helps him get all his gases out, and he usually feels better afterward! ;)

Failure...

So plan "adios binky" was a failure, because I decided that it was going to be a failure. So, that day that I snipped the tip of his binky, he didn't care during the day, but when I put him down for his nap, he wouldn't go to sleep. I couldn't figure out what his deal was, as he wasn't saying anything about his binky. He finally cried himself to sleep, but then he did the same thing at night. I finally took one of the binkys that I cut and sucked on it myself to see if it was a lot different, and it totally was. I don't really know what I expected, but you couldn't really suck on it at all, so no wonder he is freaking out. Anyway, long story short, I felt so bad for him, that I finally broke down and gave him the last binky that wasn't snipped, and he went right to sleep. After he settled down, I went in there to look at him, and there he was, sucking on his binky. I guess I have never really thought about it, but he really sucks on the binky to soothe himself. Again, I don't really know what I thought he did with the binky, but I guess I just never thought about how big of a role it played in him soothing himself to sleep. So, after talking to my wonderful mother in law, Heidi, I decided to let him have it a little longer, as he has had some big adjustments in his life in the last 6 weeks. Don't worry, it will be gone soon enough, but for now, I love the binky, for the way that it soothes my "big" baby to sleep, I just hate doing the "binky search". I think I will solve this problem by being strict about not giving it to him during the day, so I will always put it in the same place, and then I will keep a few extra on hand. I also think that we are just going to have to do it cold turkey, cut the whole tip, let him throw it away, and be done with it. But we will wait a couple more months. Plus, Asher really has been such a good little boy lately. He is so happy, and is at such a fun age, just doing the funniest things, and always laughing, and keeping us laughing.  He is so cuddly, and loves to give me hugs and kisses and snuggle with me.  I just love that little boy more and more every day. I don't know what I ever did without him in my life. Sometimes, you just gotta let your little guy be a baby for a little bit longer!

Adios Binky: Phase 1

So today, I spontaneously decided that it was time to start weaning Asher from his best friend... "bee-dee". I heard from a friend the other day, that it works well to just start by snipping the very tip off the nipple, and then slowly snip it shorter and shorter over a period of time. The hope is that they will start not wanting it on their own, because they won't like it as much, because "something" is wrong with the nipple. I like the idea because it's not so drastic, and I like the idea of Asher deciding that he doesn't like to suck on it anymore. Of course, this is all best case scenario. So anywho, today I was washing it off after his lunch, and just decided right then and there to snip the tip. I did it without him seeing, then gave it back to him. He has definitely noticed a difference, but not enough to make him mad, just a little confused. He's already not sucking on it as much. But it is during the day, and he has always done okay without it in the day time. I'm sure he won't really mind tonight either, but we shall see. I will keep you posted as I continue snipping.

Pictures

So, here are Sayer's 4 week pictures that I said I would post like a week ago, whoops. My excuse is that I am chronically tired, so anytime I get a minute, I feel like I would be stupid not to be sleeping. I had my first fatigue induced breakdown last night... Sayer was being really fussy, Nate was gone all night at priesthood, combined with the fact that I was so tired. Then I started to realize that I haven't had more than 3 hours of continuous sleep in 5 weeks, and have no idea when I will... it all finally forced me to tears. I was actually able to hold it together pretty well though. I am actually surprised that I made it to 5 weeks. (Last time I only made it to about 2 hours after leaving the hospital!) I have since re-committed myself, and am doing fine... still bone tired, but bone tired with a positive attitude! It's ok though, because look at this precious face...

He makes it all worth it! I love his full lips, his dimples, and when he smiles (even though they are not really "smiles"). We can't really tell what color his eyes will be, but right now they are a dark grayish-blue, and they are so cute. We love him!