This is where Asher has been spending a lot of his time lately... behind bars. In this particular instance, he had just dumped out an entire salt shaker, that had just been filled, all over the kitchen table, while standing on the kitchen table (which he knows he is not supposed to do).
Yup, that's right, today is "one of those days". Asher has not been a very good boy lately. In fact, he has been quite the opposite. For a while there, he was being such a little angel and was so fun and sweet, but now I think the reality has set in, that there is a new baby in town, and he is here to stay. At first Asher loved Sayer. He got excited whenever he saw him, tried to "help" him when he cried, and all that cute stuff. He will still do all those things when he is in a good mood, but if he's not, poor Sayer takes a beating. Apparently, when I say "do not hit your brother", Asher translates that to mean: "oh, you want me to do that again... with a smile on my face? Ok!" Aaaaagghhh!!!! With this, I have come to the realization that Asher is attention starved (and it was Mrs. Dub who helped me to see that, thanks!). I was starting to wonder what it is that makes having 2 kids harder, and then BAM, the answer hits me square in the face. Attention. Dividing my time between the two so that they both feel loved and appreciated and heard. Poor Asher. It makes me very grateful that we didn't get rid of "bee-dee" yet, as I now understand why Asher is more attached to it than ever. It makes me so sad to think that Asher feels neglected. In fact, it pretty much breaks my heart. But then on the other hand, I feel like Asher is making it very difficult to give him positive attention, when he is screaming or hitting or acting like a crazy child. The fact that Asher doesn't really talk yet, isn't helping matters either. How am I supposed to know what "eh-eh" and a high pitched "aagh-aagh" mean?! Sigh. And I thought today was going to be a good day. I even got up early and read my scriptures first thing, and fed Asher a real breakfast, and showered! Oh well, such is life. Oh, and don't worry that it's 4:30, and I just put Asher down for a nap, which is normally against my religion, but hey, you gotta do what you can to survive the day right? Although, this will only make my day from hell longer... Whatever.
Motherhood is hard. It's supposed to be hard. It is the process that was designed to help us become the people that we need, and want to become.
This is the lesson that Heavenly Father is driving in to my brain this month!
** I am pleased to say that after Asher's brief nap, he had a fabulous night. We shared chicken dinos and corn, with everything dipped in ranch of course! Then we played and played til Asher dropped. I do love that kid, tantrums and all. He really is a sweetheart, and I can't get enough of his hugs and kisses!